It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One. The two of us watched a romance movie marathon on TBS Superstation that made me wonder how people who write romantic comedies can sleep at night. At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall all-the-time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer. Then, within the two hour time frame of the movie, the couple meet, fall in love, fall out of love, break up, and then just before the end of the movie, they happen to bump into each other by "coincidence" somewhere absolutely absurd, like by the river. This never happens in real life. The last time I bumped into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid. I was ringing up Gas-X and corn removers. Chelsea Handler
About This Quote

The quote above is a reference to the film "Valentine's Day" which is about two lovers who meet and fall in love after their paths of life cross each other at random times. Why would anyone want to watch such a movie? This quote gives us an idea of how one can make clever life choices by observing what happens in real life. We take note of what happens in real life, and then use this knowledge to make better decisions about our lives. To make better decisions, we should focus on the events that happen to us instead of the ones that don't.

And when things are not working out for us, we should be quick to realize it and take note immediately. It may seem like good luck or coincidence if things happen to us that are not in our control, but it is much more likely that they are random events that are beyond our control.

Source: My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of Onenight Stands

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More Quotes By Chelsea Handler
  1. There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

  2. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

  3. Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving,...

  4. My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

  5. Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

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